I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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