no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
