thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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