Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
