i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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