I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
