2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
