i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
