I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize