whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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