Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
