Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
