There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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