he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
