Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
