using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
