Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
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Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize