Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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