yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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