Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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