have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
