We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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