No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize