If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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