Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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