I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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