I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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