omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
