he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
