she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
