I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
