when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
