just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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