dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
