hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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