I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize