walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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