are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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