Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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