They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
