is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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