Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
