sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.