Plan B is the new Plan A
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.