Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology