no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake