Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot