She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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