Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you had me at cake vodka
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
