I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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