she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
