Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize