do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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