1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize