I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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