Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize