4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
