Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
