i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
