Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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