So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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