well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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