whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
