Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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