i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
