Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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