I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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