There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
