i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
