my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize