I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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