White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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